That has been the question for the last couple of weeks.
This was hard to write, for it meant putting into words the thoughts and feelings that have been tormenting me for over a year. I'd like to say that my wounds have started healing. In truth, they are nearly as raw as they were a year ago. Because of that, I still don't know if I should be posting this. I've been afraid that I will come across as angry and bitter. In all honesty, though, sometimes I am. There are times I seethe. Mostly, I just hurt.
In the end, knowing that only a handful of people will read this, most of whom are family, I have decided to post it. So here, in much condensed form (i.e. minus the emotional ramblings), are the things I learned in 2009.
1. Out of sight, out of mind. You need to be physically in front of someone for them to remember that you exist.
2. You don't have to take action. Merely having good intentions is good enough. (The phrase "we should..." needs to be banned.)
3. If you want to see the people you consider friends, you must take the initiative. When you stop doing so...see item #1.
4. Taking the initiative does not guarantee success.
5. Busyness has become an accepted excuse for nearly everything.
6. "Mommy, why don't any of my friends invite me over to their house to play?" is not a question a mom ever wants to answer.
7. Not only is it bad manners, it also stinks to do all the inviting, and never get an invitation in return, no matter what age you are.
8. Most people who grew up here, stay here. When you live in one place your whole life, you have family and a lifetime of friends already. There is little need to expand that circle.
9. When you move to such a place, you will always be on the outside looking in.
10. When the hurt is almost more than you can bear, you often receive exactly the lift you need, usually in the most unexpected packages.
11. I can type amazingly well through tears.
12. I have the most wonderful, patient, and understanding husband. I love and appreciate him more than I could possibly ever express.
18 February 2010
21 January 2010
Green Gables
I finished reading Anne of Green Gables, finally. Though I had looked forward to reading it again, after so many years, I actually found it quite difficult to get started. I'm not altogether sure why. Perhaps I thought that in reading it as an adult, it wouldn't be as enjoyable?
That wasn't the case, however. I truly enjoyed it this time around. It was like visiting a long lost friend.
I can easily relate to Anne letting her imagination go too far, as well as her desire for a "bosom friend." Many of her experiences had me laughing on days when it was much needed.
I have already moved on to Anne of Avonlea, and intend to finally make it through the entire series.
That wasn't the case, however. I truly enjoyed it this time around. It was like visiting a long lost friend.
I can easily relate to Anne letting her imagination go too far, as well as her desire for a "bosom friend." Many of her experiences had me laughing on days when it was much needed.
I have already moved on to Anne of Avonlea, and intend to finally make it through the entire series.
06 January 2010
Oh, Pooh!
It was a silly little thing. That said, it is a decent description of me. I believe there is a difference between fear, and being scared. If you think I'm about to let fear run my life, than you really don't know me all that well.
Everybody could learn a very valuable lesson from Piglet, because even though he is small he always overcomes his fears and tries his best to be brave. Even when the odds are small you conquer the bigger challenges because you are steadfast in your courage and virtue.
A few quotes I like:
"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, 'Always do what you are afraid to do.'" Ralph Waldo Emerson
"A man who is never scared is stupid. But a man who is afraid is a fool. We only fear the unknown but being scared heightens the senses." my Uncle Bill
Which Winnie-the-Pooh character am I?
Everybody could learn a very valuable lesson from Piglet, because even though he is small he always overcomes his fears and tries his best to be brave. Even when the odds are small you conquer the bigger challenges because you are steadfast in your courage and virtue.A few quotes I like:
"There can be no courage unless you're scared." Eddie Rickenbaker (WWI fighter ace)
01 January 2010
Reading Challenge
I have decided to participate in a Lucy Maud Montgomery Reading Challenge at Reading to Know. I have not read Anne of Green Gables since elementary school, so I'm pretty sure I'll start with that. Thank you to Catherine for the information!
14 December 2009
Finny's Blog, Stardate 63454.1 (It's baaack!)
This is supposed to be a weekly thing. My life doesn't change enough to warrant doing it every week.
The weather in my neck of the woods:
Clear blue sky with temps in the lower 30s - a heatwave compared to the negative temperatures of last week.
One of my simple pleasures:
Listening to music I recorded from Sirius XM. I especially enjoy the alt-rock and alt-country stations.
On my bedside table:
Bible, Christmas in My Heart volumes 1-4, Jesus Wants All of Me (kids devotional based on My Utmost for His Highest), lip balm
On my TV:
Stargate SG1, season 9
Still working on Ken Burns' National Parks
On the menu for tonight:
Chicken-flavored Hamburger Hotdish - sounds weird, but it was really good.
On my To Do List:
Where to start? Finish and mail "the Christmas project," then dust, declutter, and clean all before the in-laws come this weekend. Then I need to find time to shop for my husband for Christmas.
New Recipe I tried last week:
Haha! Last week was not a week for new recipes. We tried The Soup Bowl, a new take-out soup place downtown.
In the craft basket:
I do not own one of these. I am not a crafty-type person. I do still intend to paint a rocket on my son's ceiling, though.
Looking forward to:
Shipping off "the Christmas project" in time.
Homemaking Tip for this week:
Get a housekeeper. I'm still working on this one.
Favorite Blog Post of the week (mine or other):
Nate's Top Ten of the Last Ten Years: Music Edition
I was especially happy to see Welcome to Diverse City make the cut. It is my favorite Tobymac album.
Favorite photo from last week:
This gem was from April 2008, just before we tore up the grass and had sod installed. I stumbled upon it again this week.
On my Prayer List:
Safe travels for my family
Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:
But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man. John 2:24-25
The weather in my neck of the woods:
Clear blue sky with temps in the lower 30s - a heatwave compared to the negative temperatures of last week.
One of my simple pleasures:
Listening to music I recorded from Sirius XM. I especially enjoy the alt-rock and alt-country stations.
On my bedside table:
Bible, Christmas in My Heart volumes 1-4, Jesus Wants All of Me (kids devotional based on My Utmost for His Highest), lip balm
On my TV:
Stargate SG1, season 9
Still working on Ken Burns' National Parks
On the menu for tonight:
Chicken-flavored Hamburger Hotdish - sounds weird, but it was really good.
On my To Do List:
Where to start? Finish and mail "the Christmas project," then dust, declutter, and clean all before the in-laws come this weekend. Then I need to find time to shop for my husband for Christmas.
New Recipe I tried last week:
Haha! Last week was not a week for new recipes. We tried The Soup Bowl, a new take-out soup place downtown.
In the craft basket:
I do not own one of these. I am not a crafty-type person. I do still intend to paint a rocket on my son's ceiling, though.
Looking forward to:
Shipping off "the Christmas project" in time.
Homemaking Tip for this week:
Get a housekeeper. I'm still working on this one.
Favorite Blog Post of the week (mine or other):
Nate's Top Ten of the Last Ten Years: Music Edition
I was especially happy to see Welcome to Diverse City make the cut. It is my favorite Tobymac album.
Favorite photo from last week:
This gem was from April 2008, just before we tore up the grass and had sod installed. I stumbled upon it again this week.
Lesson learned the past few days:
Pay attention to the background while taking pictures.On my Prayer List:
Safe travels for my family
Devotionals, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:
But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man. John 2:24-25
18 November 2009
Motivation
According to Merriam-Webster, motivation is a motivating force, stimulus, or influence: incentive, drive.
Right now, my house is a disaster. I'm not a great housekeeper. Honestly, I usually just do the bare minimum, but it stays clean (somewhat), and relatively presentable. However, I was out of town for five days, then spent the last two weeks sick. The motivation to keep up just wasn't there.
I'm feeling better now. As I look around and see all that needs done, I am overwhelmed. When I am overwhelmed, I procrastinate.
Besides the regular house cleaning that needs done in order to catch up, I have another problem. Almost a year ago (yes, a year) we moved everything out of our room in order to have it painted a really fantasic blue. After moving the necessities back in, I found I really didn't want all the extra "stuff" in there anymore. Solution, keep it stacked haphazardly in the spare room.
A few months after that, we had our son's room painted. Once again, not everything made it back in his room. More stuff in the spare room.
We couldn't stop there. We finally bought a new bed frame and headboard. The remaining items were moved out of, then back into the bedroom, yet again! Moving stuff about was getting old, so I did not bother to put all of it away.
Now, when I walk into the spare room, I am immediately overwhelmed by what I see, so I walk back out. I lie in my nice new bed at night, and ignore the clutter I see around me. I really am quite good at that. I always have been.
I am making an effort to fix that. Normally I just shut the doors to the offending rooms, and no one is the wiser. Today, I open the doors, hoping that if others can see it, I will be motivated to do something about it.
Right now, my house is a disaster. I'm not a great housekeeper. Honestly, I usually just do the bare minimum, but it stays clean (somewhat), and relatively presentable. However, I was out of town for five days, then spent the last two weeks sick. The motivation to keep up just wasn't there.
I'm feeling better now. As I look around and see all that needs done, I am overwhelmed. When I am overwhelmed, I procrastinate.
Besides the regular house cleaning that needs done in order to catch up, I have another problem. Almost a year ago (yes, a year) we moved everything out of our room in order to have it painted a really fantasic blue. After moving the necessities back in, I found I really didn't want all the extra "stuff" in there anymore. Solution, keep it stacked haphazardly in the spare room.
A few months after that, we had our son's room painted. Once again, not everything made it back in his room. More stuff in the spare room.
We couldn't stop there. We finally bought a new bed frame and headboard. The remaining items were moved out of, then back into the bedroom, yet again! Moving stuff about was getting old, so I did not bother to put all of it away.
Now, when I walk into the spare room, I am immediately overwhelmed by what I see, so I walk back out. I lie in my nice new bed at night, and ignore the clutter I see around me. I really am quite good at that. I always have been.
I am making an effort to fix that. Normally I just shut the doors to the offending rooms, and no one is the wiser. Today, I open the doors, hoping that if others can see it, I will be motivated to do something about it.
Door 1, The Good (RIP Bob):
The Bad:
Door 2, The Ugly:
This was worse until a couple of days ago when my husband moved out a few of the larger items. Now we can at least walk in the room.
Maybe I'll open Door 3, the dreaded mud room soon. Maybe...
23 October 2009
Possibilities
I've been thinking...one of the nice things about having a blog that almost nobody reads is that I can write pretty much anything I want, without worrying about what people think. Hmm. This could be good. I shall ponder for awhile, and then may let the venting begin.
22 October 2009
Finny's Blog, Stardate 63272.1
A snapshot into my life right now.
The weather in my neck of the woods:
Gorgeous! It has been cool, cloudy some days, sunny others, and beautiful. This is my favorite time of year.
One of my simple pleasures:
Checking on my son while he sleeps, and giving him a kiss on his forehead.
On my bedside table:
My XM radio, and Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself by Florence Littauer. I love studying what makes people tick.
On my TV:
I am working my way through Ken Burns' The National Parks: America's Best Idea.
On the menu for tonight:
Chili Lime Chicken Tacos
On my To Do List:
call about swim lessons
paint a rocket on my son's ceiling
research German Christmas traditions
New Recipe I tried last week:
In cooking class, I learned how to make Mongolian Stir-fry, Wonton Soup, and fried Wontons, but have not made them myself, yet.
Looking forward to:
Doug and I are going to see Thoroughly Modern Millie with the Duncan's.
Lesson learned recently:
I'm finally starting to see that making a list, and posting it prominently, really does help me to get things done!
On my prayer list:
A friend who is struggling with a disease.
Devotional, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8
The weather in my neck of the woods:
Gorgeous! It has been cool, cloudy some days, sunny others, and beautiful. This is my favorite time of year.
One of my simple pleasures:
Checking on my son while he sleeps, and giving him a kiss on his forehead.
On my bedside table:
My XM radio, and Personality Plus: How to Understand Others by Understanding Yourself by Florence Littauer. I love studying what makes people tick.
On my TV:
I am working my way through Ken Burns' The National Parks: America's Best Idea.
On the menu for tonight:
Chili Lime Chicken Tacos
On my To Do List:
call about swim lessons
paint a rocket on my son's ceiling
research German Christmas traditions
New Recipe I tried last week:
In cooking class, I learned how to make Mongolian Stir-fry, Wonton Soup, and fried Wontons, but have not made them myself, yet.
Looking forward to:
Doug and I are going to see Thoroughly Modern Millie with the Duncan's.
Lesson learned recently:
I'm finally starting to see that making a list, and posting it prominently, really does help me to get things done!
On my prayer list:
A friend who is struggling with a disease.
Devotional, Scripture Reading, Key Verses:
I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8
05 October 2009
Something different
Here is some completely useless information about yours truly.
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? On Beyond Zebra or Oh, the Places You'll Go!
2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? The Jetson's home.
3. Who's your favorite Muppet? Statler and Waldorf
4. Who's your favorite TV attorney? Ed Stevens
5. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? Nampa and McCall
6. Where were you on 9/11/01? I was on my way to work when I heard an early news report about a plane hitting a WTC tower. I was at the intersection of Yellowstone and Alameda.
7. What's your favorite tree? Lodgepole Pine, Ponderosa Pine, Magnolia, and maples. I love trees!
8. What's the best costume you've ever worn? An old lady (in 5th grade)
9. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? Idaho :)
10. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be? Seychelles or Sao Tome and Principe
11. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? Dictionary. I love looking up words.
12. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving? Not only no...
13. What's your favorite form of exercise? Walking, hiking, skiing, dance/aerobics.
14. Have you ever taken dance lessons? Nine years of tap and jazz. Doug and I took swing, salsa, and ballroom.
15. What's your favorite Broadway musical? I really enjoyed A Chorus Line.
16. What's the most memorable class you've ever taken? Latin. Mr. Evans was always memorable.
17. If you could go to Disney World with any celebrity alive today, who would it be? Donnie Osmond. I think he'd be fun, plus, I love him!
18. What's your favorite breakfast food? Cold spaghetti.
1. What's your favorite Dr. Seuss book? On Beyond Zebra or Oh, the Places You'll Go!
2. If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be? The Jetson's home.
3. Who's your favorite Muppet? Statler and Waldorf
4. Who's your favorite TV attorney? Ed Stevens
5. What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles? Nampa and McCall
6. Where were you on 9/11/01? I was on my way to work when I heard an early news report about a plane hitting a WTC tower. I was at the intersection of Yellowstone and Alameda.
7. What's your favorite tree? Lodgepole Pine, Ponderosa Pine, Magnolia, and maples. I love trees!
8. What's the best costume you've ever worn? An old lady (in 5th grade)
9. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be? Idaho :)
10. If you could travel anywhere in Africa, where would it be? Seychelles or Sao Tome and Principe
11. Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus? Dictionary. I love looking up words.
12. Have you ever been snorkeling? Scuba diving? Not only no...
13. What's your favorite form of exercise? Walking, hiking, skiing, dance/aerobics.
14. Have you ever taken dance lessons? Nine years of tap and jazz. Doug and I took swing, salsa, and ballroom.
15. What's your favorite Broadway musical? I really enjoyed A Chorus Line.
16. What's the most memorable class you've ever taken? Latin. Mr. Evans was always memorable.
17. If you could go to Disney World with any celebrity alive today, who would it be? Donnie Osmond. I think he'd be fun, plus, I love him!
18. What's your favorite breakfast food? Cold spaghetti.
20 August 2009
California trip, and a birthday.
Way back in February, we flew down to California to visit my brother and sister-in-law. (Six months ago? Wow!) I must say, it was definitely an intersting time to go. We experienced sunny and warm, chilly and windy, torrential downpours, and even snow. And I thought Idaho weather was fickle!
We so enjoyed being able to go to Retch's baby shower. M'boy made some friends while there (doesn't he always?) While he enjoyed the two little kids, I daresay he had the most fun being chased around by a wonderful woman who could have been his Grandma!
We spent a few days at Disneyland. It was the perfect time to go, as there were almost no lines. It was so fun experiencing it all with a child. He loved everything, well, almost everything, about it. He wanted to ride on everything. We very nearly did! He loved both Buzz Lightyear rides, Soarin' Over California, Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, and Thunder Mountain, and many others. I was worried about him on Thunder Mountain, until we went around the first turn, and he threw his hands in the air. He kept them up, and laughed, all ride long! We were able to go on many of these rides multiple times, by just getting off, walking back around, and getting on again - no wait. Super nice! M'boy did not enjoy the Abominable Snowman on the Matterhorn, and Space Mountain was a bit too intense for him.
It was a great trip. Can't wait until the next one!
We so enjoyed being able to go to Retch's baby shower. M'boy made some friends while there (doesn't he always?) While he enjoyed the two little kids, I daresay he had the most fun being chased around by a wonderful woman who could have been his Grandma!
We spent a few days at Disneyland. It was the perfect time to go, as there were almost no lines. It was so fun experiencing it all with a child. He loved everything, well, almost everything, about it. He wanted to ride on everything. We very nearly did! He loved both Buzz Lightyear rides, Soarin' Over California, Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, and Thunder Mountain, and many others. I was worried about him on Thunder Mountain, until we went around the first turn, and he threw his hands in the air. He kept them up, and laughed, all ride long! We were able to go on many of these rides multiple times, by just getting off, walking back around, and getting on again - no wait. Super nice! M'boy did not enjoy the Abominable Snowman on the Matterhorn, and Space Mountain was a bit too intense for him.
It was a great trip. Can't wait until the next one!
Our boy turned six, yes six, in May. We had his party at a gymnastics facility. It was a great place for the kids! The foam pit, the zip line into it, and the trampolines were the biggest hits. It was so much fun, even some of the adults got in on it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)